READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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