It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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