my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
