you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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