It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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