Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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