it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the day after is always just damage control
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
