it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
