Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
