I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
