Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize