it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
