sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
