Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
