i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm drive I can fine osifer
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
