I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
