Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
