i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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