i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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