Only a mothe r could love this liver
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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