Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
