I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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