I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
