If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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