I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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