Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
