he told me I talked like a deaf person
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
