She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize