His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
