what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Randomize