I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Michael Bay diarrhea
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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