Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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