Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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