no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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