my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
