i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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