so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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