Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
