do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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