if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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