How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize