My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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