mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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