my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
