Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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