just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
