Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
