youre lurking in front of me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
