i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i dont even know how to be here
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
