WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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