but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
