Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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