Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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