It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
