tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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